Pale New Dawn
by Sadonis
Summary: What if Breaking Dawn had no Nessie? My rewrite of the end of the saga, where Bella never gets pregnant.
1. Chapter 1: Back Home

It was an amazing feeling to walk into this place that I had visited so many times before and be able to call it home. Our honeymoon had been so long I barely remembered what the Cullen house looked like. Alice had done some decorating before our arrival, a "Welcome Home, Newlyweds!" banner hung inside the doorway, and the rest of the family was gathered just behind it, waiting to barrage us with questions.

Edward squeezed my hand, which brought to my attention a wordless conversation he was having with Carlisle. It didn't appear there was any tension between them, but he left me to go continue the silent discussion in the kitchen. Alice took the opportunity to flit to my side and give me a peck on the cheek.

"Welcome home, Bella! I just knew you'd have a great time!" Alice smiled and danced off behind them.

"Yeah, we heard you two were going to 'have a great time' quite a few times after the wedding. That's why we had to ship you off to the island in the first place – we didn't want to listen to that," Emmett slapped me on the shoulder with a wink. Rosalie rolled her eyes dramatically. As crude as he could be sometimes, I was so proud to be part of his family. Tears started welling in my eyes again, so I looked off into the kitchen.

"Hungry, sweetie? We stocked the pantry before you came back. I'll go fix you something," Esme smiled warmly and shot a glance at Emmett before she left to cook. I followed her into the kitchen to check up on the impromptu meeting. Edward was leaning in towards Carlisle and mumbling responses to unasked questions, his voice was nearly inaudible. Alice sat at their side, her fingers pressed to her temples, staring at nothing in particular.

"I know that look, guys. What's coming to eat me now? Volturi? Rogue newborns?" I had to joke. Keeping things lighthearted was all we could do to stay sane until I was…well, sturdier. My human days were numbered as long as the Volturi were still around.

"Nothing new, my love," Edward leaned back and turned the full effect of his smile on me. We were married for weeks now, and he could still dazzle me with a simple smile. I went to stand next to him, and placed his arm around me, nuzzling into his chest.

"Well if it's nothing new, why all the serious discussion?" I wondered out loud. I looked at Carlisle for an answer.

"Well, of course it's not _new_ danger, but there's still the Volturi issue. I was thinking we might discuss when Edward was planning to…" Carlisle trailed off and I felt Edward's arm tense around me. "How much longer would you like to postpone this, Bella? I know it's depressing to talk about all this with you fresh off your honeymoon…"

But I was ready. I didn't even need to think about it, really. Standing next to my own personal god-turned-husband, I knew there was nothing else I needed in the world. What was the point in waiting any longer? We should stick to the plan – I was supposed to be changed immediately following our honeymoon, after I had my last necessary human experience. I wasn't going to change my mind when it came to the issue of spending an eternity with Edward.

Just as I began to speak, Esme appeared and slid a sandwich my direction from across the counter. I smiled warmly and started picking at it.

"Well, I was thinking I should make the change as soon as possible." Edward drew in a sharp breath; I refused to look up at his face. "Why wait for danger to come to us when I know what I want? We've waited for the best possible moment, and it has arrived. My parents know I'm with Edward; I'm already living in the company of vampires… Let's do it!" I knew the last bit of enthusiasm would upset Edward, so I continued to ignore his unfavorable reaction.

"I have to agree with you, Bella. Now is as good a time as any. Edward… Will you be able to do this?" Carlisle reached out and grabbed Edward's shoulder, and I felt him relax his grip on me slightly.

Edward placed his index finger under my chin and turned my face to look at him. "Bella, I will be ready as long as you are ready." His eyes bore into mine, trying to find any sign that my decision was less than final.

"Let's do it tonight, then," I said with conviction. Edward let a low growl through his defenses. Jasper quietly approached his other side and the tension left the room.

"You can do it, Edward. We'll all be here for you," Jasper looked at me encouragingly. "However, we need to go hunt immediately if this is the plan, brother. I know your vacation has left you thirsty."

Edward nodded. "Tonight, then." He turned to me. "Bella… I will only be gone for an hour or so. Use this time to ask the family any last minute questions." He leaned down and pressed his lips against my ear. "I love you. Please understand that I'm happy that you'll be mine forever, I just am prone to worrying about your safety, if you haven't noticed," he said with a grin.

Edward kissed the top of my head and was out the door with Jasper at his side. I was sure he'd be in higher spirits after some hunting. Carlisle looked at me expectantly. "Well, any questions for me?" he smiled at me, seemingly quite relaxed at the turn of events. Esme pretended to be busy shuffling around the kitchen.

"Um… Not really at the moment. But, thank you!" I returned his smile, but my stomach was doing somersaults.

Alice had been silently watching our exchange, but came and took my arm. "Let's go have a look at what you'll wear for the big night! We'll need something comfy and durable, but chic," she squealed as her eyes glistened with possibilities. She led me up to Edward's room – now _our_ room – and walked me into the closet.

I don't know why I expected Edward's stuff to be the only thing in there, but as soon as Alice flicked on the lights, I knew I was mistaken. Racks upon racks of designer clothes, probably straight off runway models, lined the walls. Alice carefully watched my reaction, and seemed disappointed by whatever she saw. She pouted and walked solemnly to a rack in the back and pulled out a thin, black cotton dress.

"This will give you some room to maneuver. And extra space in case, you know, your… proportions… change, after you join our legion of the undead," she laughed at her joke, and held the garment up to me to judge it.

"A dress, Alice? I'm going to be burning from my insides out and you want to put me in a dress?" I tried to be funny, but my voice cracked in the middle. Alice's face turned serious.

"Don't say it like that, Bella. No one knows what it's going to be like for you. Carlisle is going to give you morphine – and Edward and I will be by your side the whole time! Just keep your eyes on the prize, okay?" her eyes were sympathetic. She walked over to me and rubbed my back to comfort me.

"Yeah… let's just stop picking out the clothes I'm going to die in and have some fun before I'm out of commission for three days," I said with some more resolution in my voice. Alice nodded and smiled again, and pushed me backwards out of the closet.

While we were walking back down the stairs, we heard Edward and Jasper's return. They were talking quietly with each other, and it sounded like similar words of comfort were being offered to Edward. Alice noticed I was eavesdropping and jumped in front of me in a flash. I would have knocked her over if she hadn't been made of stone.

"Bella. You know that I would never let Edward do anything so major without knowing – and by knowing I mean _seeing_ – the outcome. I know you're going to make it through this! I've seen it! If this is what you really want to do, you can rest assured that Edward will succeed tonight. I would not risk losing my newest sister without this certainty!" The truth in her eyes was unwavering. She _saw_ me come through this. This was totally doable.

Just then, Edward peeked around the corner. His cheeks were flushed with the fresh hunt, and his eyes were creamy and golden. I rushed down to greet him with an enthusiastic hug, and his lips met mine with an equal amount of passion. "I missed you, my love. Do you have everything in order before we proceed?" his eyes tightened ever so slightly with his words.

"Yes, I think so. My parents are taken care of, Alice has chosen me a slutty dress to wear, and Jake…" but I trailed off, unable to complete the thought. This was the first time I'd opened the Jacob drawer in several weeks, but it still stung. Edward showed no response.

"Bella, it pains me to watch you hurt over him. I truly want to make everything better, but I think we all are aware that immortality comes at a great cost for you. I promise this will be the last time I ask you – are you sure this is the right path for you now?" he asked, his features twisting into a mix of hurt and concern.

"I know things with J-Jacob will never be the same. I knew that he would not accept my decisions, and I know what's important to me," I ran a fingertip along his lip as I spoke. "Please, Edward. Let's do this tonight."

"Then we'll change you tonight. _I'll_ change you tonight, Bella," and, with that, he kissed me urgently and desperately. I felt myself being led upstairs, and I tried to forget that somewhere in the forest my best friend was in pain.


	2. Chapter 2: Dominated

I didn't really notice when we'd reached the top of the stairs. It was hard to notice anything when I was kissing Edward. My brain did not have enough room to process my physical location on a normal day, and I still had a tiny bit of guilt eating away at me as well.

"I'll leave you for a moment to change clothes or do whatever you need. Take your time – it might be your last human minute," Edward laughed mechanically before leaving my side. He ran with inhuman speed back into the kitchen.

I walked into our bedroom and headed for the closet. The dress Alice had chosen was hanging over the door, and I decided I'd make her happy and wear it. I undressed and slipped it over my head. I started to head downstairs to get Edward, but he was already standing in the hallway, his back to me.

"Were you spying on me, Mr. Cullen?" I said playfully, approaching him and pinching him at his waist. He turned around and took my face in his hands.

"Of course not! I was being a gentlemen and waiting for your permission as always, Mrs. Cullen," he said with a dazzling smile. I stood on my toes to kiss him, and he returned my kiss with the urgency of our last. His fingers slipped from my cheeks into my hair, winding against my scalp. I put my hands on his hips and pulled him towards the bedroom. He sensed what I was trying to accomplish, and shuffled us past the doorway, nudging the door closed with his foot.

He pushed my face away from his. "Did I mention I really like this dress on you?" he smirked before finding my mouth again. I ran my hands under the waistband of his boxers, gently grazing his lower back and hipbones with my fingertips. He shuddered lightly in response, but kept his hands in my hair and his kisses fervent.

I traced my hands up the back of his shirt and around to his stomach. He was wearing a black button-down, and the contrast made the skin of his neck and face look exquisite in the soft glow of the sunset. He untangled his hands from my hair, careful not to disturb our kissing, and unbuttoned his shirt with vampire speed. I pulled it off his shoulders and moved my kisses to his neck.

I mischievously grazed his collarbone with my teeth and felt his quick intake of breath. "I think you're confusing our roles tonight, Bella," he chuckled. His voice was deep velvet, and his breathing was louder than usual. I ran my hands down his stomach and hooked my thumbs in his pockets.

"Don't worry… my teeth are nowhere near sharp enough to draw blood," I said, using my best seductive voice.

"Yet," Edward added in his husky voice, slowly sliding his hands up the back of my thighs. He lifted my dress as he went, and stopped when he reached my shoulders, pulling the rest of it over my head. I wasn't wearing anything underneath it – I got the impression that I shouldn't wear anything too restricting. I saw his eyes flicker down to look at my body, and the blood rushed to my face.

Edward's smile lit up the room as he cupped my face in his hands. "You have no idea how much I love this," he said, stroking my warm cheeks.

"Enough to stop you from making me immortal?" I added. I didn't like him to get distracted by my human characteristics – it made me feel like he didn't want me for eternity if it meant I would lose my heartbeat.

"Of course not, Bella," he said, soothingly. He put his forehead to mine; it felt like he was looking into my soul. "I wish you would stop saying things like that. I thought I had explained this enough," he frowned a bit. He was too adorable when he did that. I shrugged a little and busied myself with the buttons on his pants. He tutted disapprovingly, but I knew he wouldn't push me away tonight.

As soon as I managed to undo his pants, he locked my hands in his iron grip. "Just to keep me under control, I'd like it if you let me proceed from here," he added with a wink. He used a free hand to scoop me up and carry me to our bed.

I sprawled out across the comforter while I waited for Edward to join me. It only took him a few seconds to free himself from the rest of his clothes. The sun was nearly set now; the brilliant oranges and reds that had filled the room were fading away, but there was still enough light for my weak human eyes to take in the sight of Edward before he sat beside me on the bed. I sat up and clawed at his shoulders, trying to pull him down to lie next to me. Obediently, he fell to the bed at my side.

I snaked my legs around his hips and pushed myself upright so I was straddling him. His eyes widened with concern. He opened his mouth to speak but I smashed my lips against his and reached beneath me to find his cool hardness. I stroked him gently, feeling a growl building in his chest. Edward did not like to be submissive; he thought it was unnecessarily risky as long as he was still fighting back the urge to kill me. I just wanted to try something a little different to take his mind off the night's other activities.

I grabbed him with more force, and slid my hand faster along his length, our mouths still moving together. His hips bucked reflexively, and his tip grazed my thigh. A small moan escaped me, vibrating against Edward's lips. His eyes flew open to glare at me – they were melted gold, burning with passion. He was enjoying himself, but was still upset that I was taking control.

Afraid he was going to use force soon, I positioned him beneath me and lowered myself on top of him. This new position was different than anything we tried on the honeymoon, and I loved the new sensation. I kept my eyes on Edward as I gently moved up and down. His hands grabbed at my hips and he used his strength to move me faster. I was excited that he wasn't putting up a fight anymore, so I let myself go.

Soon, we were slamming together, fueled by passion. Somewhere in my mind, I knew this was going to leave the kind of bruises that haunted Edward, but I also knew I wasn't going to live long enough to see them develop. The reminder that I was going to be changed tonight sent a new thrill through me, and I was surprised to find myself thinking of his bite as I rode the first orgasm. The feel of his cold teeth at my neck, knowing that he pained for my blood, becoming a beautiful immortal and losing my frailty… I quickly orgasmed again. Edward was right behind me this time. Taking care to remove his hands from my waist, he instead clawed the comforter to shreds as he tensed and twitched. I felt his venom cool my insides, and we laid connected for a few more minutes while my breathing slowed.

"That was very dangerous, Bella," Edward's face turned severe once the euphoria wore off a bit. "What if I had lost control? There was no way I could have gotten away from you."

"Oh, shut up already, Edward. You know you just have issues with being dominated. It wouldn't have been difficult for you to move me if you needed to get away – you have superhuman strength, remember?" I rolled off of him and nuzzled into his side. "Besides, so what if you bit me? Just another thing to cross off on the agenda."

"Bella—" Edward started.

"No, I know, just be quiet for two minutes and let me enjoy my post-sex snuggle, please." He was such a typical man after we had sex.

We laid together for a few minutes in silence. Then Edward took my face in his hands and kissed my nose. "Let me get your clothes for you. The sun has gone down and some of the family is coming upstairs to check on us." Edward leapt off the bed. By the time I glanced up at him he was wearing pants. He tossed the dress on top of me, and I slid it over my head and adjusted it so I was covered.

Edward opened the door slightly and looked into the hallway. I could hear Alice and Jasper talking now as they approached our room.

"Edward! We were just coming to see where you were in the process," Alice stated, mostly for my benefit.

"Well, I'd like to do this… alone, if possible? I know Carlisle can come in immediately following with the morphine, but I feel this is a very personal experience for us and I'd like to keep it private," Edward answered. Private? Alone? I don't think we ever discussed the conditions of my changing before.

"That sounds fairly reasonable, Edward," Carlisle didn't seem to be fazed by his request. They must have discussed this earlier.

"Thank you for your understanding. I promise, I'll call for you as soon as…" but Edward trailed off and everyone just nodded in agreement. I could sense Jasper now, and I felt the calming sensation he was radiating through us all. Most of the family was still hidden behind the door.

Alice looked at me, her features flashing some concern before she turned and walked back downstairs with the rest of them. Edward closed the door after they'd left and turned to me.

"I think it's time, my love."


	3. Chapter 3: Pulse

I didn't understand Edward sometimes. Well, I would never really comprehend most of his choices, but sometimes there seemed to be even more that escaped my understanding. For all the worrying he has put me through, constantly bringing up the possibility that he won't be able to stop himself from eating me when he starts my transition, now he decides he wants us to be alone for my changing. I thought he was using Carlisle as a security blanket.

"What was that all about? Shouldn't your – _our_ – family be in here with us if you're going to bite me? You of all people should recognize this as a risk to my safety…" I drifted off after I realized Edward had started laughing quietly. I couldn't help but glare at his reaction, and he quickly straightened up. "And what's so funny, now?"

"Bella, I can't believe how all of my anxiety has rubbed off on you," Edward said, sitting down next to me on the bed. "Here I thought this decision would be making you happy. I thought this would be what you wanted."

"Why would I not want them here to support you?"

Edward took my face in his cool hands and leaned towards me. "Don't you feel this experience – delivering the bite that will stop your heart and keep you with me for eternity – it's all very _passionate,_ isn't it?" he whispered, inches from my face. His breath swirled around senses, the most beautifully sweet aroma, leaving me momentarily speechless. He continued, "I just thought maybe it would be more fitting if, for this occasion, we were alone. If we could have our last moments together in this life, before we continue on to the next chapter of yours." His eyes smoldered as he spoke, and he pressed his chilly lips against my jaw.

Still, I couldn't formulate any words. _What was he getting at? Did he mean 'alone together' as in…?_

"Please, speak, Bella. Your silence is worrying me," Edward mumbled, shifting his lips and planting a kiss beneath my ear. "Share with me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours, love."

"Are you sure you can't read my mind?" I pulled away from him, my face reddening with chagrin. Edward's curious smile dissolved into a look of confusion. I tried to continue, but lost all grace in the process. "I mean, this all seems very sudden… And, well… When we were, um, together, just now, I imagined you biting me, and it… kind of…" I knew I'd have to mumble this last part quickly or else I'd never get it out, "…turned me on?" For some reason, it came out as a question. Just another side effect of the mortifying embarrassment of speaking these thoughts aloud, I'm sure. I buried my face into his chest, hiding the deep red stain of my cheeks.

Edward would have blushed had he been able, as he was just as new to this notion as I was. We were still quite inexperienced when it came to fulfilling each other's physical desires, having only been married and together on that level for a relatively short time. Edward's expression turned curious for a second before a mischievous grin spread across his face. With this devilish look in his eye, he might appear truly frightening to someone that didn't know better. Moments like these, when the look on his face mirrored his plotting thoughts – this is when he truly looked like a vampire. Vampire… Oh, how I could throw that word around so easily nowadays.

A deep growl resonated in Edward's chest, interrupting my thought process, and I realized that he was now prepared to act out my newest fantasy. He quickly hopped onto his toes so he was on the bed in a crouched position, ready to pounce with unparalleled agility. I scooted myself backwards to the edge of the bed, not having to try hard to look scared. I watched the muscles tighten in his arms, and in a split second he was hovering over me, his eyes burning with intensity. He bared his teeth fully and leaned close to my face. The sweet perfume of his breath was strong in my nostrils, coaxing my desires.

I lifted my hand to his face and hesitantly grazed my fingers through his bronze hair. He brushed his face against my arm, breaking character momentarily to smile and wink. He tried to look menacing again, but couldn't completely hide the softness of his expression. "Are you ready, Bella?"

"Yes, I'm ready. I want to be with you forever…" The tears welled up in my eyes, spilling over quickly – a mixture of happiness and sadness. A quiet sob escaped me. Edward understood. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs and leaned forward, kissing me passionately. His tongue tasted my lower lip; his hands weaved their way into my hair and down my dress to my back. I threw all of my emotion into the contact our bodies made, running my hands down his bare chest and crushing my hips against his. My face was wet with my tears, making our kisses salty. The moment felt urgent and anxious – I didn't know if I would ever feel exactly this way again. _The risk is worth it for a lifetime of _this, I assured myself.

Edward pushed me onto my back against the bed, and pulled the straps of my dress down over my shoulders with his mouth. He frenziedly kissed along my collarbone, pausing only occasionally to taste my skin with his tongue. I took one of his hands in mine and kissed along his palm and fingers, tracing the creases of his marble skin. His spare hand moved slowly along the inside of my leg, up my dress, settling on my thigh. I yearned to have him closer; my desires swelled inside of me.

He brought his face next to mine, locked his eyes with my own, and whispered, "Forever."

Then, he leaned down to the base of my neck, as if to kiss me. There was no way I could have been prepared for the sensation that followed. In one effortless bite, his teeth easily sank into my flesh, piercing every layer until making contact with my bloodstream. His venom flowed freely, and mixed with my blood, infusing the poison into my system.

I gasped loudly out of shock and pain. He did not linger at my neck for long, but time seemed to stretch endlessly. My burning desires were replaced with the searing pain slowly spreading from the wound, which Edward had licked clean. He was careful not to look me in the eyes as he made similar lesions on my wrists and ankles.

My body pulsed with pain, but I fought to stay conscious. Edward's face was creased with uneasiness, and he still avoided my gaze. He leaned down to my ear. "I'm so sorry, Bella. If there was any way I could make this easier on you, you know I would do it without hesitation. This is the only way." I knew once I was undergoing the transformation that he would be miserable with guilt, as unreasonable as it may be.

In seconds, Carlisle was through the door with Esme in tow carrying medical supplies. My vision throbbed with every beat of my heart, the venom flowing farther from Edward's bites with every pulse. I knew I would have to close my eyes soon. My body began to sweat; I was getting a fever from the infection of the foreign poison. Liquid fire spread to every extremity. Edward's face was still next to mine. I tried to lift my hand to rub his back, touch his face… somehow let him know that I wasn't blaming him. But as soon as I moved at all, the pain from the fresh wounds stabbed through my entire body. I feared trying to speak, worried that it would resemble more of a scream.

Soon, the blood forcefully pumping through my arteries was nearly all I could hear. The sound seemed amplified as my heart struggled to keep beating; every thud was like a bass drum sounding in my chest. Carlisle was giving instructions to Edward and Esme, but it took all my strength to make out their voices. Edward remained at my side while Carlisle set up an IV. Esme handed Edward a wet washcloth, which he dabbed at my cheeks and forehead, his other hand gently stroking my arm. The pain in his face was unbearable, but I was still afraid to close my eyes. I swiveled my gaze to each of their faces, looking around me helplessly, while everyone just stared back in pity.

Suddenly, Edward's eyes met mine, his face full of alarm. He gently let go of my arm and spun to face the door where Alice had just entered the room. Her mouth hung agape, her arms limply dangling at her sides, as she took in the sight of me. I watched her mouth form the words, "I'm sorry," and she turned to meet Edward's gaze, her face pained.

Carlisle quickly approached Alice's side, his brow furrowed in confusion and worry. I strained to hear their conversation over the sound of my drumming heart.

"…Just disappeared," I heard Alice say. Edward's eyes were fixed on a point on the wall, obviously listening to thoughts with deep concentration.

"How long do we have?" Carlisle shot a glance in my direction.

"Does it matter? We can't go anywhere! Look at Bella…" Edward raised his voice. What was going on?

Suddenly, everyone turned to face the door. Jasper meekly peeked around the corner, eyeing me in bed. I knew he was worried about me, but was keeping his distance until he was sure there was nothing left in the room that would challenge his self-control. Edward had done a very careful and thorough cleanup job. Jasper took a careful breath before entering and fully directing his attention to Alice.

"I felt the tension from across the river. What's happened?" Jasper gently took Alice's hand in his, and they exchanged a love-filled glance.

Alice pressed her free hand to her temple and rubbed her face gingerly, squinting her eyes in concentration. After a moment, she sighed in resignation. "I've lost my visions of Bella after her transformation. I think we need to prepare for some wolf company very, _very_ soon."

As if my heart wasn't strained enough, it fought to beat even faster. I could no longer fight to hold my eyes open; they burned and swelled with poisonous tears.

_Jacob was coming for me. _I couldn't comprehend what this meant. A million questions developed in my brain, and my sudden anxiety seemed to overpower the unyielding pain.

_What would he do when he saw me? Would I still be burning in my skin or would my days of pain be over? Did he think he could change my mind? What did he think he would find here?_

_Jacob was coming for me. But, no matter when I see him next…_

_It will be too late._

I faded into drug-induced unconsciousness.


End file.
